My name is David; I am 27 years of age and currently in ark house treatment centre trying to address my addiction over alcohol. This is a 12 step program. On a Wednesday afternoon the group will take part in an in-house group share. This allows the group the chance to share with each other how they are feeling on that day and any worries or problems they have or just what is or not working for them with the support of each other and the staff. One day on the Wednesday I shared with the group how my past had been which was emotional, which lead me to be irritable, nervous etc. I had never really addressed this out of addiction so it was new for me to feel these emotions sober or at all. By this time I was sweating, shaking and could not sit still. I was confused to the point I did not know how to deal with these feelings.
I then got up out of my chair and asked to leave the group and went to my room. Once in my room I was standing looking in the mirror (I was still sweating, shaking and thought I did not know how to deal with these feelings sober). Then I thought to myself a drink would make me feel better (stop shakes etc.). On another note I suddenly stopped myself (which I had not done before, I would normally just drink) and then ‘walked myself through it’. I realised I would have to walk out of treatment , get a drink , throw my life away and end up in addiction once again. This would have led me to probably the point of no return.
Now I understand after walking myself through the process and realising how easy it would be to choose drink once again over my life that, not just me but we are worth more than that.
I know I have people who can support me and instead of picking up a drink I can talk to these people and get the help I need to deal with this.
After walking myself through it and understanding that I did not need to take the drink to help me with my feelings I know that I will from time to time feel like this but I now have a choice and that is:
‘I am not going to drink to deal with these situations’
Today I have and will use the help and support I have been thankfully given.
David Service User